Dating with stoma

Obviously I don’t mean medically – ALWAYS take their advised medically! Only took me nearly 10 years to get there…When you first get your bag, you are given a list of about 2 billion things you cannot eat.They are the pros at helping you when you need to learn how to attach it, what to do when it’s sore or won’t stick (and yes that really does happen….) and what not to eat. You’re scarred, you have a bag attached to you and you’ve gone through all that to be able to eat normally again, and the first thing you’re told is you actually eat any of the foods you want to.But in the scenario that someone does take an issue with it, then be honest with yourself, is that really somebody you want to continue a relationship with? In the end, even though there was an adjustment period and some initial concerns, I have found that sex can be just as, if not even more, satisfying and enjoyable with an ostomy than without (especially if you are dealing with some of the same issues I was beforehand). You are still a beautiful/handsome/sexy person with or without a colon and with or without an ostomy bag. Have you found a difference in your sex life since getting an ostomy? Are there any men willing to share their own experience?

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Like I said, one of my first questions once I decided to go through with the surgery was, “how is this going to affect my sex life?

” Thankfully I had a surgeon who this wasn’t his first go-round and he knew it was probably a question I had so he brought it up without making me have to. Sex has always been a little difficult for me, as I’m sure it is for many people living with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis.

The smallest amount can cause a night full of horrific stomach cramps or, even worse, a trip to A&E. Whether it is partners, friends, family or colleagues, does your bag affect their life?

Are you really any different to them as a person if you do or don’t have it? I have shared hotel rooms with friends for entire weekends and they have been none the wiser that I am pooping into a bag whilst lying next to them. I can sneak my bags and dressings into a bathroom and do a change quicker than most women can get changed into their PJs. Exactly 3 years ago we shared Bethany's inspirational story of living with Crohn's Disease and a stoma, which achieved worldwide media coverage.

I have debated for a while about writing a post on sex.