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“Straight white boy texting syndrome” has become something of a phenomenon in the past few weeks, thanks in great part to Straight White Boys Texting, a Tumblr site, and a number of viral threads on websites such as Reddit; where ladies feverishly post hundreds of horny hogs’ feeble attempts at wham-bam intimacy.

Below are some of the best (but really the worst) examples I’ve stumbled on through various sites and blogs.

The benefit of this is that I've now become so desensitized to the prospect of meeting a potential romantic partner that I'm no longer nervous ahead of a first meeting.

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Every day he charted his height, weight, what he ate that day, what he weighed, what he read, watched, who he talked to, etc. When I found him on Facebook later that night—after we hooked up—I realized he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. " -Ellen, 22"A group of us went to Miami for spring break, where we used Tinder as a way to figure out where to go each night.

One of my matches, let's call him Alex, seemed nice and helpful—but I never actually met up with him in person.

Now I know that if I'm excited for a There have been some pitfalls to my mass-meeting agenda, however — mainly that I've gone on some pretty heinous first dates with men I might not have agreed to go out with had I not been so obsessed with the prospect of falling in love.

But, since I strive to remain optimistic, I try to learn something from every horrible experience I've had. Ahead, read the worst, wildest, craziest first dates I've ever been on — and what I took away from each experience. Not every meeting is going to lead to your prince charming.

So I said yes to everyone, and stacked my calendars full of drink dates, walking dates, coffee dates, and dinner dates.

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    ' she protests, 'because I ceded to the sweet impressions of nature, and in imitating the charming weakness of all the women of the court of France, I surrendered to the sweet impulsion of love..hold me, as it were, captive within your walls?